Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Day 37

My dress arrived in the mail on a Thursday in late October. When i stepped into it for the first time to see how it fit, a rush of nervousness came over me. I would be wearing this for an entire year. "Is this a mistake Lord?", i thought to myself. I knew it was going to be hard to put the same thing on everyday. And frankly, just the idea sounded crazy. Even a little silly at times. I could be judged and laughed at. I had little faith in what would be accomplished in these next months to come.

               "Why? Why are you doing this? Why should you wear the same dress for a year? Who is going to care?"

It had been in my head for weeks prior to the start of the project. But I decided, as i zipped the back of the dress up, that if this is alof the love i can give to the children at the Redeemer House Orphanage, to the children i have never even met, I am going to give it with the entirety of my heart. With joy, and love, and grace. 
I learned it's easier said than done. You probably already know that. It's easier to talk about raising money and praying for those beautiful children rather than actually doing something to help them. I would so often use prayer as an excuse not to do something for someone or help the person in need. "I'll pray for you" i would say. I'd replace need with busyness and four simple words.
 In January, I took a step to not use prayer as an excuse in my life anymore. I chose to live out the words I am saying when I talk to god and not just say them. I wanted my prayer life to become real. 

I have a dress, I have a heart that has been blessed beyond belief, and I have a God that loves me so that i can love others. This is a tiny fraction of the love that God has showed me, yet i am reluctant to show love to someone else because of how it could affect my life. It could make it harder, more difficult, painful, and unpleasant. I honestly didn't want any of those things. God is good though. I have been constantly reminded that this project isn't about me. It's not about what i can do for the orphans in 365 days, but what God can do. What He can do through me.

Go fight for them. 
Have faith. Have faith. Have faith.

If we truly want to live like Christ did, we have to love our brothers and sisters near and far as much as we say we do. Even those that don't reciprocate the love we show them. The love must extend itself down the street and across the ocean. It must have no bounds. The other day I read something that challenged me. "I don’t get to put fences around agape." It shattered my heart a little bit, because it had been what i was doing for so long. It made me realize that God's love isn't here for us to keep to ourselves, but give to those in need.

I don't want to be a woman who is pleased with saying four words to someone and walking away hoping that someone else will meet the need. I don't want to be satisfied and content doing things for my own convenience. I want to strive to be like Christ in all I do.
I am wearing a little black dress for a year. I am swimming in waters where i have never been before. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and cherishing the lives of 13 orphans in Uganda. Though it may sounds funny or feel uneasy at times, the Lord is shaping me in ways that words cannot describe, and He is forever growing me in life and through this project. I know the months to come are going to bring countless blessings.

I urge you to show love to the world and step out of your comfort zone. He is with you always.
Do not be afraid.

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